HELPING THE HELPLESS
Nathaniel
“Nathaaannnn!” Amber’s high-pitched scream rattled the house. “Help!”
I instantly envisioned her hazel eyes and traversed to her. She was standing alone on the back deck, nervously bouncing the ends of her scarf against her curly hair.
“What’s wrong?” I scanned the dark backyard. “Is someone here?”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “He made me do it.”
She’d barely spoken the last word when I heard Dylan’s voice. “Nathan, please—”
I threw my hands over my ears and traversed to the garage. Snickering, I pulled my phone from my pocket and texted Dylan. Forget it. I’m not trying the glasses .
It had become a game between us. Dylan trying to catch me so he could persuade me into testing Carson’s glasses, and me traversing out of hearing range before he could use his ability to make me try them. Mainly, I enjoyed the friendly competition of outsmarting each other, but I also didn’t want to look through Carson’s glasses and see the dark place where Maryah’s star used to be. Some delusional part of me figured if I didn’t confirm it wasn’t there, then Shiloh’s theory might stand a chance of being true.
“You will not traverse,” Dylan said.
Bollocks.
The garage light came on and Dylan strutted out from behind Amber’s car. “Ha. Got you.”
I couldn’t traverse—no matter how badly I wanted to. That’s the thing about Dylan’s ability. If he gives an order, there’s no choice but to follow it. “You were just out back.”
“No,” he grinned smugly. “My tape recorded voice was out back. I took a lucky guess that you’d flee to the garage.”
I walked toward the door that led inside the house.
Dylan stepped in front of me. “You will—”
“Dylan, enough,” I groaned. “Carson already said they don’t work.”
“He designed a new pair and made some adjustments.” Dylan reached up on a shelf and handed me glasses similar to the other ones, except they felt lighter. The automatic garage door opened. “Put them on and look at the sky.”
Of all the things he could use his ability for, he chose trivial nonsense like this. I didn’t want to follow his order, but my hands were already sliding the glasses over my eyes. I walked out of the garage and looked up.
Through the glasses, the black sky appeared almost white. Every visible star was sepia toned with a halo of gold surrounding it, like specks of glowing dirt thrown onto a white screen. The real sky put the altered version to shame. That couldn’t be how Shiloh viewed the world, colorblind or not.
I located my star and squinted, searching the space beside mine. I stared for over a minute then removed the glasses from my head.
“Well?” Dylan asked, stroking his goatee. Amber stood on the front porch watching us.
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
Amber sighed.
Dylan bowed his head. “I’m sorry. Carson thought—”
“It’s done. Please don’t mention her star or those shoddy glasses to me ever again. What’s done is done, and I don’t need to keep being reminded that she’s gone.”
“We were only trying to help,” Dylan said.
“Imagine how horrible we feel.” Amber plugged in the Happy Halloween sign attached to her scarecrow’s hands. “She was killed at our wedding.”
We had avoided this conversation for years, but apparently Amber was finally ready to discuss it.
“We all were,” I said.
“Nathan!” She threw a tiny pumpkin at me. “Thanks for making me feel worse.”
Dylan clarified. “What he meant was, nine of us were killed on that beach. Maryah is the only one who chose to erase.”
“Nine,” Amber repeated. “So then you don’t think they killed Gregory?”
I hesitated, hiding the shiver that ran through me, but not from the cold. “No, I believe they wanted him for his ability.”
Dylan lit a candle and set it inside a jack o’ lantern. “He’d never help them.”
“No, he wouldn’t,” I agreed. “Not willingly.”
Amber sat on the porch swing beside the scarecrow, fiddling with fake spider webs. “I can’t help wondering what if we all hadn’t been gathered in one place. What if Dylan and I hadn’t had our wedding on that island? We were trapped and unarmed. We didn’t stand a chance.”
I remembered the scene like it was yesterday. Amber looked exquisite in her wedding gown. It had been only months since we last gathered, but Amber was disappointed when Anthony and Louise’s flight got cancelled. Edgar had a severe ear infection which prevented him from flying, so he and Helen were also unable to attend. In hindsight, it was a blessing the elders weren’t present. Anthony tortured himself with the scenarios that might have played out had he been there to use his ability. But “what if” is an awful game to play with oneself.
“We had no idea they wanted any of us,” I said.
Amber’s cheeks were sucked in, possibly from fighting back tears, or biting back the memories. “Dylan shakes me awake sometimes. He says I punch and scream in my sleep. Every time it’s been nightmares about the Nefariouns. The gunshots, the blood, the cracking of bones: like it’s happening all over again. Sometimes, I only hear screaming. You’re all screaming, fighting for your lives, but I can’t get to anyone.”
Dylan wrapped his arms around her. I remained silent, not knowing how to ease the heaviness of her grief or guilt.
“And Gregory,” she choked on his name. “I keep seeing him there, chained to that tree, having to hear it all—even the horrible things none of us could.”
“I’m sure he blocked it all out,” Dylan said.
“No.” Amber shook her head. “Not with all of us in danger. Especially Harmony and Carson. He probably kept his mind open to hear everything. Every fear, plea, and terrified thought running through our heads.”
I sat down on the porch steps with my back to them. I couldn’t tell them what I’d seen, what I knew. I couldn’t tell anyone. As guilty as I felt for keeping such a grave secret, I had to. Our kindrily couldn’t handle additional devastation.
“Speaking of Carson,” I said. “What have you two decided about spending more time with him?”
The swing creaked then Amber moved into my peripheral vision and leaned against the porch railing. “Of course we will. It’s easy to forget how hard the first few rounds of life were. And Carson, with no soul mate. I can’t imagine how hard that must be.”
Her hand darted to her mouth when she finished her sentence. “I’m sorry, Nathan. I can’t believe I just said that.”
I waved it off. “It’s fine. I know what you meant.”
She sat down beside me. “Dylan has been talking to Carson on the phone every night. We’re going to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with him. And I’m going to face my guilt and spend time with Maryah as if we’ve never met.”
“You haven’t met. She’s not the soul we knew. She’s a stranger.”
Amber sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. “Are you still determined to stay away from her?”
“Maryah has forever forsaken us. I can’t keep tormenting myself with impossible hopes of a miracle.”
“You can’t give up on her,” Dylan said. “It’s only been a few months. You have to believe. If you of all people don’t believe in her, she doesn’t stand a chance.”
“Tell me, Dylan, are you the one laden with heavy, burdensome chains every day and night? Do you curse the sun every time it sets from the sky because if you sleep you’ll dream of love only to have it vanish when you wake? Are you scared to blink your eyes because the image of your twin flame floods you with insufferable pain?”
He bowed his head and looked away from me.
“No,” I continued. “You can’t comprehend that anguish such as mine never receives a reprieve. Your soul mate stands beside you. Imagine looking into Amber’s eyes and seeing that she erased every memory of you. You can’t even imagine the torture.”
Amber squeezed my hand and allowed a few moments of silence to pass before continuing the debate. “She’s shown hints of remembering. What if there’s an exception to the rule?”
“Glitches in her brain? Fleeting moments of déjà vu? Hypnosis-induced remnants of our former lives together? Those are the only exceptions. Is that what I’m supposed to be hoping for? Is that what all of you are fighting for?”
“It’s better than nothing at all.”
Dylan squatted down in front of us. “Maybe the soul is like a computer’s hard drive. If files or information exist long enough, and are embedded deeply enough, traces of supposedly deleted information still remains. The imprint is too strong to disappear. Maryah’s history and memories run extremely long and deep. She may still have memories imbedded in her soul.”
“You’re comparing her to a machine?”
Dylan smirked. “Edgar is always saying how the Akashic Records are now referred to as a universal supercomputer. It’s a sign of the times. Maybe the soul can advance like technology.”
I didn’t want to admit to the tug-of-war between hope and hopelessness going on inside of me. “I’m determined to keep Maryah safe. Part of that is keeping my distance from her. The other part is finding Dedrick and making sure his hunt is over. Marcus and some members of another kindrily have agreed to help me.”
“Dylan and I could help.”
My patience had worn thin. “No. I want everyone from our kindrily to stay together in case the Nefariouns figure out who and where Maryah is. I’ll be here within seconds if you need me.”
“You being away so much makes me nervous,” Amber said. “Promise me you’re not on a mission to die and erase, and that you’ll be careful over there.”
“I'm not on a mission to die, and I promise I’ll be careful.”
I glanced at the sky where Maryah’s star used to be—wishing harder than ever that Carson’s glasses had revealed a miracle. I made a promise to myself that I’d do whatever it took to keep Dedrick away from Maryah, and that promise trumped the one I had made to Amber.
