MOVING AWAY BUT GETTING CLOSER
Maryah
Everything looked exactly like it did before the fire. The same tree branch bed posts, same linens, even the dream catcher looked identical to the one that hung there before. No scorched floors or ceiling. No water damage or smoke smell.
“How?” I asked Krista.
“They work fast.”
“It doesn’t make sense.”
“It’s a big family. They must have pulled together and worked all day. They’re trying hard to make you feel comfortable and happy here. It’s sweet.”
Another hint that she wanted me to live with the Lunas. I’d always believed that Krista and I were inseparable, but ever since we arrived in Sedona, it felt like she was pushing me away. Only one way to be sure.
“I’ve decided I’m staying.”
And there it was. A gleam in her eye. “You are? You’re sure?”
I hesitated, not sure whatsoever. “It’ll be a fresh start.”
She actually smiled—a huge, blinding, so-relieved-to-be-ditching-my-zombie-cousin smile. “I am so jealous. I mean, I’m sad we’ll be so far apart, but I know you’ll feel much better here.”
Sad? She was so far from sad she’d need a GPS to find it. I’d never seen her look happier. I didn’t know whether to cry or yell at her for being so heartless.
“Oh, Pudding, this is going to be your healing place. I just know it. I’ll explain everything to my mom and dad so they understand. And I’ll make sure all your stuff gets packed and shipped to you.”
She didn’t even want me flying home with her to pack my stuff! I couldn’t open my mouth or I was certain I’d cry or scream, so I just nodded.
“You should go tell Louise. She’ll be thrilled.”
Go tell Louise. What if Louise didn’t want me either? What if she was being nice and hospitable out of respect for my mother, but never expected me to actually move into her home?
A headache unfurled at the base of my neck. I sucked in air, realizing I hadn’t taken a breath in at least fifty sprinting heartbeats. What if no one wanted me?
∞
I found Louise in the library, working on her laptop. I knocked on the doorframe before entering. “Hi.”
“Hello.” She stopped typing and folded her screen down. Her silver bracelets clinked together initiating a long moment of us silently staring at each other until finally, “Carson told me you watched one of Nathaniel’s favorite movies tonight.”
Poor Louise. She had a severe case of Nathan withdrawal. “You miss him, don’t you?”
“Do I miss him?”
“You talk about him a lot. I figured it’s because you miss him.”
“Oh.” She paused. “You’re right. Maybe I miss him more than I realized.”
I sat in the chair across the desk from her, and glanced around at the towering shelves of books. “Such a big house for only a few people.”
“Well, it used to be much more crowded, but things change.”
Sweat dripped down my back. Two of her own kids had just moved out. Why would she want a runt like me hanging around?
She took off her glasses and cleaned them with her sleeve. “You’d have a lot of privacy if you lived here.”
My heart pounded so hard I thought the desk between us was shaking. “I wouldn’t want to disrupt your life.”
“You are the furthest thing from a disruption. You are eternally welcome in this home and in our hearts.”
Louise was probably trying to be polite. She didn’t want to make me feel unwanted, so she gave politically correct responses. She folded her hands on top of the desk. “However, I won’t force you to live with us. You must decide which path is right for you.”
I nodded and pressed my fingers into the arms of my chair. They were clammy and squeaked across the polished wood.
Louise leaned closer. “I spoke to the local high school and classes start next week. If you stay, you could start the year on time.”
My head spun trying to process it all. She’d made preparations for my arrival? Maybe she really did want me to live with her.
“Maryah, I understand the emotional torment you’re going through, but please know that I love you more than you can imagine. We want nothing more than for you to stay with us.”
That settled it. Krista was pushing me away, and Louise was inviting me in. Decision made. I choked on my words. “If you’re sure you want me…I’d like to live with you.”
She squealed, springing up and running around the desk to hug me. “You have no idea how happy this makes me—how happy this will make everyone!”
Not every one. My happiness died on our boat dock that night when a monster told me my family was gone.
I fake-smiled at Louise and motioned toward the living room. “Mind if I watch TV?”
“Go right ahead. I’ll be in here working if you need anything.”
I wasn’t ready to talk to Krista yet, so I watched reruns of old sitcoms by myself for a while. Around midnight, Louise passed through the living room.
“Still up?” she asked.
“I’m not tired yet.” I also wasn’t in the mood to share a bed with Krista.
“Well, I’m turning in for the night. Herbal teas are in the pantry if you need help relaxing.”
“Thanks. Goodnight, Louise.”
“Sweet dreams, dear. I’m so glad you decided to stay with us.”
Even as I watched TV, I stressed about telling my aunt and uncle that I wasn’t going back to Maryland. Relaxation sounded good, so I raided the pantry and found a glass jar of tea with “Tranquil Sleep” written on the label. I brewed myself a cup and curled up on the couch. The tea worked better than expected.
In my dream I was still on the Lunas’ sofa. My movie-star angel of death was walking away from me. I’d know his strong, broad back anywhere. Could he take me to wherever my parents and Mikey were?
I called out to him, but my voice came out weak. “Take me—” with you . Only the first half of my groggy thought surfaced.
He turned, his lean muscles bulging underneath of his t-shirt. They looked effortless, which made sense because angels didn’t seem like the gym-obsessed type. His eyes were cold and guarded, but he stepped closer then handed me my tea. Would an angel of death poison my tea? Brutal attack, raging fire, tea: one of these didn’t belong.
I took a few sips while we stared at each other. I wanted to ask him what death was like, and if he knew where my parents and brother were, but talking required so much effort that I couldn’t seem to muster.
“Does it hurt?” I whispered. That one question took every ounce of energy I had.
He winced then glanced around the room. “Does what hurt?”
Dying . I thought, but I couldn’t say it out loud.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
I tried nodding, but my head only nestled further into my pillow. My eyelids were heavy and my muscles had melted away. He got up and walked down the bedroom hallway. I wanted to follow him, but I couldn’t. So much for talking to angels.
I woke up, startled by a bang. The television flashed like a strobe light as a late night infomercial played.
“Maryah.” Carson poked my shoulder. “Wake up.”
I rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?”
“Two a.m.”
“What are you doing up?”
“Apparently, I couldn’t sleep, so I came out to get a drink and the TV was on.” His words sounded forced like he was reciting a speech.
I stood, but had to steady myself on the end table while a wicked headrush flowed through me.
“Any weird dreams?”
My jaw almost dropped, stunned that he was concerned if I was okay, and that he asked about my dreams. Yes Carson, I had a tea party with my angel of death . He’d believe that—if we lived in the Twilight Zone.
“None that I remember,” I lied.
Carson hit the off button on the remote.
“Thanks for checking on me,” I whispered, walking close behind him down the hallway.
He raised his hand in an almost-wave as he closed his bedroom door.
Krista was still awake and reading when I went to our room. On the nightstand, she had set out a framed photo of my parents, Mikey, and me. I slumped onto the floor, hugging their picture to my chest.
“You okay, Pudding?”
I looked at the ceiling, fighting back tears, but something new hung beside the dream catcher.
“What’s that?” I asked her.
She slid down onto the floor and leaned against me. “It’s a little narcissistic, but I hung up a photo of me. I figure that way, I’ll still be here watching over you.”
And then I did cry. How could I be mad at her after doing something so sweet? More importantly, how was I going to survive living so far away from her?
She hugged me and I sobbed into her shoulder. “What will happen to us, Kris?”
“Nothing,” she whispered. “Miles can’t separate hearts and souls. We’ll be apart less than a year. Then we’ll graduate and I’ll move here too.”
I pulled back, shocked. “You will?”
She smiled and wiped my cheeks. “Absolutely. I love this place, and all these people. I know staying here is what’s best for you, but you’re my best friend. I’ll miss you more than chocolate.”
Our private saying should’ve made me smile, but my lips—and heart—felt like quicksand. I hugged her with all the strength I had, which wasn’t much due to the tea. “Saying goodbye to you tomorrow is going to shatter my heart to pieces.”
“Mine too. But I’ve got enough miracle glue to put us back together again.”
